Re: humour
Posted: Fri Sep 03, 2021 3:27 am
they sure get fat for hibernation. they sure get fat for hibernation.Welcome to opalholicsanonymous.com where opal season lasts forever.
We're here to enable you and feed your addiction
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humour
Page 129 of 160
they sure get fat for hibernation.Re: humour
Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2021 2:39 am
Yes, it's amazing how skinny they are when they come out of their dens, and within a couple of months they've turned into tubs of lard.
This is hilarious, and these animals are extremely well trained. What a hoot.
This is hilarious, and these animals are extremely well trained. What a hoot.
Re: humour
Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2021 3:20 am
Re: humour
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2021 2:47 am
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Re: humour
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2021 3:03 am
Re: humour
Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2021 3:09 pm
Humor is the original meme. People sure can be creative. There should be cartoons on front pages instead of lies.
Re: humour
Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 3:37 am
I'm glad y'all are enjoying them. Let's try a few more. The last one is my favorite. 
Re: humour
Posted: Wed Sep 08, 2021 3:51 am
Re: humour
Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2021 4:07 am
Japanese Doctor
Q: Doctor I’ve heard cardiovascular exercise is good for you. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... No waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine - that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Not think of one. So sorry. Philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up:
Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - beer in one hand - chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers to deceive you.
The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.
The man who spurred the exercise craze of jogging and running – Jim Fixx – and wrote the book, “The Joys of Running” died at 52.
BUT
The KFC inventor died at 94.
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
Hennessy Cognac inventor died at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down and sprints away for its’ life, but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.
Q: Doctor I’ve heard cardiovascular exercise is good for you. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... No waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine - that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Not think of one. So sorry. Philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up:
Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - beer in one hand - chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers to deceive you.
The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.
The man who spurred the exercise craze of jogging and running – Jim Fixx – and wrote the book, “The Joys of Running” died at 52.
BUT
The KFC inventor died at 94.
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
Hennessy Cognac inventor died at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down and sprints away for its’ life, but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.
Re: humour
Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2021 5:04 pm
Mindfulness & a slower lifestyle have been proven to extend your life and have a better quality throughout also. Sorry if I dont have links to these sophism's, but they've sunk in more than the definitions to my way of thinking.