humour

[SwordfishMining]

Talking to yourself? You needa box, I gotta lotta boxes? LOL. Seems they usually get used from the free "Priority" pile more than any other. I'm pretty sure every mineral wants its own box if it isn't a bulk sort of rock.

The nimble thrive. https://www.boxfactory.com.au/news/sign ... -about-it/

[SwordfishMining]

Porch Pirates finale from Mark Rober for a few thieves dismay. The 5th generation Glitter Bomb.

[crazy8s]

[PinkDiamond]

Trouble at the North Pole

Merry Christmas Y'all!!!

SantaSmileyGreen.png (236 Bytes) Viewed 1612 times

[crazy8s]

Merry Christmas

[MoDo]

Thanks for the laughs!

[PinkDiamond]

Home schooling in the 50's and 60's

Most of the generation of 60+ years were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways.
See below - in our parents own words!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

4. My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why ."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't
exaggerate!"

13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My father taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up"

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

25. My father taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
you!"


The younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our
parents...

[PinkDiamond]

[crazy8s]

Damn, don't **** off a Rhino.

[PinkDiamond]

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.

Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”

Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.

“Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo".

I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.

Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.

Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Old age is coming at a really bad time.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent one copy?


The Commandments for Seniors……

You don't need anger management. You need people to STOP MAKING YOU MAD!

Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

"On time" is, when you get there.

Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.

It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.

Lately, you've noticed people your age, are so much older than you.

"One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.