humour

[PinkDiamond]

[GeorgeSharen]

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

Clyde proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now tell me, what the HECK would you say?"

[kjsspot]

"Now tell me, what the HECK would you say?"

haaaahahaha I'd say the same thing George!

and here's my joke for the day. lol

[PinkDiamond]

LOL y'all!

I've got one for you.

[GeorgeSharen]

[kjsspot]

This tickled my funny bone today

[GeorgeSharen]

Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first woman.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden.

"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the game warden left.

As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this river?!"

[kjsspot]

Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist?
A: He took his wife for granite so she left him

[PinkDiamond]

Y'all are a hoot.

[SwordfishMining]

Knock on my door. Get out of here! Here's one for you. Those same people came out 100 miles from town and tried to go to every summer house and trailer in the mining district and if there was a chain on the road the panderers tied one of their magazines onto it with a plastic bag or one on the door knob of every place. Hey! WE DON'T NEED YOU ADVERTISING SOMEONE IS NOT HERE NOW OR THE LITTER. I collected every one off the doors and chains of my friends claims and millsites & just put them in the trash directly. Within a month they all would have rotted off and been blowing around a pristine wildlife refuge as those people don't live where you are advertising. Hmm- gonna sic the ranger on that church to control their members and make them stop littering as "WE OWN THE SURFACE" is what the bark at me. Let them do their job better with this citizens direction. They really do hate me.