humour

[crazy8s]

[PinkDiamond]

[crazy8s]

[PinkDiamond]

Investment advice for 2021

Due to poor sales from unfortunate events, The Wall St. Journal has reported the following Corporate Mergers in Q1 2021

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2021:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW! And finally....
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang.

Now don't forget who provided you with these exceptional investment merger tips...

[PinkDiamond]

[crazy8s]

[PinkDiamond]

Good try!


A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price - the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy ), "I have an idea.. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'


If you can't read any of these click on the pic and then click the magnifying glass in the next pane to enlarge it.

Bars are Different in Scotland - Ya Gotta Love the Ads

[crazy8s]

[PinkDiamond]

More from the bars in Scotland.

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women (I'm sorry . . . . . but our PC society demands I change this to: . . . "women of size.") talking at the bar. They all spoke with a heavy brogue accent.

I made an unfortunate assumption that their accents appeared to be Scottish . . . . so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales . . . . you bloody idiot!"

So I immediately apologized . . . . and replied, "I am so sorry! Are you three whales from Scotland?"

And that's the last thing I remember.

[crazy8s]