humour
Moderators: PinkDiamond, John
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
This gentleman walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as its going by. He gets into the taxi and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank."
Gentleman : “Who?"
Cab driver : "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab; things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Gentleman : "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cab driver : "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Gentleman : "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cab driver : "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."
Gentleman : "Wow, what a guy!"
Cab driver : "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Gentleman: "How did you meet him?"
Cab driver : “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."
Gentleman : “Who?"
Cab driver : "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab; things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Gentleman : "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cab driver : "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Gentleman : "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cab driver : "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."
Gentleman : "Wow, what a guy!"
Cab driver : "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Gentleman: "How did you meet him?"
Cab driver : “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
There's a 'bad word' in the last one, and it's really hard to read so I captioned below the pic for you and substituted the word 'freakin' for the bad word.
CAFFEINE
You don't think we're this freakin chipper by accident, do you?
CAFFEINE
You don't think we're this freakin chipper by accident, do you?
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
Men Who Lack Female Supervision
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
It's not on YT so I can't embed it, but check out these pet troublemakers.
https://biggeekdad.com/2019/12/best-pet ... blemakers/
https://biggeekdad.com/2019/12/best-pet ... blemakers/
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
- PinkDiamond
- Posts: 16755
- Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:30 pm
- Location: Ozark Mountains
Re: humour
PinkDiamond
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.
ISG Registered Gemologist
· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-¸.·´ .·´¨¨))
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ There are miracles left for you to do .... -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´* It all begins inside of you.