Re: humour
Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2021 6:43 pm
Welcome to opalholicsanonymous.com where opal season lasts forever.
We're here to enable you and feed your addiction
http://www.opalholicsanonymous.com/phpbb/
humour
Page 107 of 160
Re: humour
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2021 4:45 am
17 Immutable laws
1.Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach it.
10.Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room with 100 lockers or more, they will have adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14.Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16.Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet!
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
1.Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5.Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6.Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7.Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8.Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9.Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach it.
10.Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11.The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room with 100 lockers or more, they will have adjacent lockers.
13.Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14.Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16.Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet!
17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
Re: humour
Posted: Mon Feb 15, 2021 6:21 pm
Re: humour
Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 4:47 am
Every year this mama duck brings her babies to my house, and I help her take care
of them. This morning I opened my door to 13 new peeping fluff balls
A Beautiful Hummingbird's Nest With A Leaf Roof
A friend nursed an injured crow back to health after it got trapped in her French
Quarter courtyard. These are some of the things the crow has been bringing her
as apparent gifts.
This little dude and I have had breakfast/lunch together every day for the last 4 weeks. I always bring him something to eat, and he just sits next to me for my entire break at work.
Nice Old Next Door Lady Left This Note At My Parents Front Door
Cheeeese!
Winter, when the trees are BEAR
The look on this seal's face
Auto Synchronization
I post this old Christmas photo because I just noticed my pocket square is my
sister's hamster
Safety first
She's wearing her crown
"Sometimes, my mind wanders; and other times it goes away completely."
"There have been times when I lose half of my mind, and the other half goes to find it."
of them. This morning I opened my door to 13 new peeping fluff balls
A Beautiful Hummingbird's Nest With A Leaf Roof
A friend nursed an injured crow back to health after it got trapped in her French
Quarter courtyard. These are some of the things the crow has been bringing her
as apparent gifts.
This little dude and I have had breakfast/lunch together every day for the last 4 weeks. I always bring him something to eat, and he just sits next to me for my entire break at work.
Nice Old Next Door Lady Left This Note At My Parents Front Door
Cheeeese!
Winter, when the trees are BEAR
The look on this seal's face
Auto Synchronization
I post this old Christmas photo because I just noticed my pocket square is my
sister's hamster
Safety first
She's wearing her crown
"Sometimes, my mind wanders; and other times it goes away completely."
"There have been times when I lose half of my mind, and the other half goes to find it."
Re: humour
Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 4:50 pm
Thanks I needed that to reminded me to believe "Don't sweat the small stuff" & It's ALL small stuff compared to the larger picture. We are given our glimpses of grace every day.
Re: humour
Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2021 5:12 pm
Re: humour
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2021 3:00 am
I have something different for you tonight. Animals getting up close to wildlife photographers. Most will make you smile, some will make you laugh, and they'll all warm your heart, which could help those in the icy and snowy regions of the country, like we're in here. It's been so cold for so long that our water quit last night because it froze at the creek, which has never happened before. Thankfully it loosened up today and is flowing again, and we've been blessed to not lose power. This wicked cold makes me want to jack that groundhog out of his burrow and smack the snot out of him.
From the Animal Rescue site.
"Photo: Twitter
A thread has recently made its way onto Twitter with probably the cutest photos you’ll ever see on the Internet. Someone who goes by the name of Polychromantium on Twitter started posting some photos of curious animals with wildlife photographers, and it’s absolutely heartwarming.
If you’re an animal lover, there’s no doubt that this article is for you. We can’t help but love the curiosity of these animals as they get up close for the cameras and give the photographers a good laugh.
Photo: Twitter
Just imagine you’re laying on the ground photographing seals, and before you know it you’ve become one of them. You just need the ‘seal’ of trust.
Photo: Twitter
Usually, foxes aim to steer clear of any human interaction. But this fox seems to be more interested in using his human as a lookout post of sorts.
Photo: Twitter
Similar to the fox, the deer or fawn is not one to just come right up to a human being and start hanging out. Have to admit, it’s pretty darn adorable though.
Photo: Twitter
What looks to be a baby cheetah seems not to be bothersome in the slightest to this wildlife photographer. Could mama cheetah be close by?
Photo: Twitter
How would you feel being face to face with a seemingly full-grown cheetah? Looks pretty intense, but this photographer is completely professional about it.
Photo: Twitter
Honestly a bit jealous of these photographers managing to grasp the attention of foxes. This one looks highly curious as to what’s on the photographer’s camera. Maybe it’s a picture of the fox himself!
Photo: Twitter
A lot of these animals seem to take a great deal of interest in the actual camera, not so much the person holding it.
Photo: Twitter
Okay, what is with all these adorable foxes, and how do I get them to come up to me like that? We’re all getting ‘fox fever’ over here. If that wasn’t a thing before, it is now!
Photo: Twitter
This photographer looks like he totally didn’t mean to directly encounter two fully grown brown bears, and now he’s just trying to fit in. They do look pretty cuddly though…
Photo: Twitter
This guy didn’t even care about getting a selfie with a bird on his head. He just wanted to give the bird its model moment.
Be sure to SHARE this article if you absolutely loved these adorable wildlife photos!"
This story originally appeared at Do You Remember by Jane Kenney.
https://blog.theanimalrescuesite.greate ... 1516634512
From the Animal Rescue site.
"Photo: Twitter
A thread has recently made its way onto Twitter with probably the cutest photos you’ll ever see on the Internet. Someone who goes by the name of Polychromantium on Twitter started posting some photos of curious animals with wildlife photographers, and it’s absolutely heartwarming.
If you’re an animal lover, there’s no doubt that this article is for you. We can’t help but love the curiosity of these animals as they get up close for the cameras and give the photographers a good laugh.
Photo: Twitter
Just imagine you’re laying on the ground photographing seals, and before you know it you’ve become one of them. You just need the ‘seal’ of trust.
Photo: Twitter
Usually, foxes aim to steer clear of any human interaction. But this fox seems to be more interested in using his human as a lookout post of sorts.
Photo: Twitter
Similar to the fox, the deer or fawn is not one to just come right up to a human being and start hanging out. Have to admit, it’s pretty darn adorable though.
Photo: Twitter
What looks to be a baby cheetah seems not to be bothersome in the slightest to this wildlife photographer. Could mama cheetah be close by?
Photo: Twitter
How would you feel being face to face with a seemingly full-grown cheetah? Looks pretty intense, but this photographer is completely professional about it.
Photo: Twitter
Honestly a bit jealous of these photographers managing to grasp the attention of foxes. This one looks highly curious as to what’s on the photographer’s camera. Maybe it’s a picture of the fox himself!
Photo: Twitter
A lot of these animals seem to take a great deal of interest in the actual camera, not so much the person holding it.
Photo: Twitter
Okay, what is with all these adorable foxes, and how do I get them to come up to me like that? We’re all getting ‘fox fever’ over here. If that wasn’t a thing before, it is now!
Photo: Twitter
This photographer looks like he totally didn’t mean to directly encounter two fully grown brown bears, and now he’s just trying to fit in. They do look pretty cuddly though…
Photo: Twitter
This guy didn’t even care about getting a selfie with a bird on his head. He just wanted to give the bird its model moment.
Be sure to SHARE this article if you absolutely loved these adorable wildlife photos!"
This story originally appeared at Do You Remember by Jane Kenney.
https://blog.theanimalrescuesite.greate ... 1516634512
Re: humour
Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2021 5:14 pm
Re: humour
Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2021 4:01 am
You've heard the term, 'three dog night', right? How about a three cheetah night? Looks like fun to me. 
Re: humour
Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2021 4:28 pm
I like the animals. People should be less complex.
Oh, but don't you know our power generation is killing the world, & the rest of humanity is weak and helpless to change without Amarxica paying for the politicians to posture. Tony Heller -Climate Scientist on Rumble tells people constantly of the "CO2 is YOU" agenda by the rulers falsifying records & changing data recording locations.
I tell people to prep for no electricity & I prepped for the end of electricity to be comfortable. I have got the bug in other residents ears too to consider the roads not working anymore due to no gas or diesel.
I hope your water stays flowing. Most people are not in tune with providing their own water. I drink water from an artesian spring 25 miles away, by my place in Virgin Valley, that is the off the road survival location cave I could personally hold.
I deal with my freezing pipes by running the water thru my house inside on the ceiling. Then I only had to insulate where it comes out of the ground & up into the hallway. The dogs, mainly the Shepard Chow cross, have removed all my sub floor insulation off the bedroom end of the house chasing varmints, so got an extra rug on that flor, but its nice in summer. Now the drains will freeze when it is sub zero for weeks if I dont start with hot water first.
Oh, but don't you know our power generation is killing the world, & the rest of humanity is weak and helpless to change without Amarxica paying for the politicians to posture. Tony Heller -Climate Scientist on Rumble tells people constantly of the "CO2 is YOU" agenda by the rulers falsifying records & changing data recording locations.
I tell people to prep for no electricity & I prepped for the end of electricity to be comfortable. I have got the bug in other residents ears too to consider the roads not working anymore due to no gas or diesel.
I hope your water stays flowing. Most people are not in tune with providing their own water. I drink water from an artesian spring 25 miles away, by my place in Virgin Valley, that is the off the road survival location cave I could personally hold.
I deal with my freezing pipes by running the water thru my house inside on the ceiling. Then I only had to insulate where it comes out of the ground & up into the hallway. The dogs, mainly the Shepard Chow cross, have removed all my sub floor insulation off the bedroom end of the house chasing varmints, so got an extra rug on that flor, but its nice in summer. Now the drains will freeze when it is sub zero for weeks if I dont start with hot water first.