humour

[crazy8s]

[jakesrocks]

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass."


"OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old, and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?

"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

[MoDo]

LOL!!!!

[GeorgeSharen]

just a short note i,m alive under great stress but will try tocheck in frem time to tmie

[PinkDiamond]

I've been concerned since we haven't seen you come by for quite a while, George, so I'm relieved to hear that you're still with us, and hope you can get help managing the stress and everything else you're dealing with. Feel better, and know that you have been missed, and hopefully you'll be able to entertain us with that sense of humor of yours again soon. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

[GeorgeSharen]

hi pink July20 there will be a mfeetting to chabnge my care package ... hopefully will be much better
missed you guys

[SwordfishMining]

Miss you too funny guy.

[PinkDiamond]

The 20th is almost here and hopefully things will get a lot better for you, George.

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,
"Say. Father, what causes arthritis?"

The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath!"

The drunk muttered in response, ''Well, I'll be damned,''
He then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized, saying, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

The drunk answered, ''Oh, I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.''

[MoDo]

[PinkDiamond]

Any of you remember the garden goose I used to show you dressed for each season and holiday? Well, one night last year, the possums climbed the stand he had been set on to keep him out of Steve's way, and knocked it onto the concrete porch where I found it smashed to smithereens the next morning.

I searched, but couldn't find another one like the original, and nothing I found was particularly appealing so I pretty much gave up. But then, one day I found something I needed at Miles Kimball, and saw their goose, and decided he would do. I got a pumpkin outfit for him, since he's 2' tall, and much larger than the other goose, and when I got the order, on their private sale flyer I found some items for gifts at such a great price I had to order again, and since I saved so much on everything else I decided to get him another outfit; this one for summer.

He's guarding the little pond on the deck to rescue any blue-tail skinks that fall into it.

What'cha think?